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3 golden rules for maintaining harmonious relationships with the parents of your grandchildren

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Educational conflicts, overly invasive grandparents… How to have good relationships with your children?

In a family, the arrival of a child creates real upheaval. Of course, it upsets the parents, but also those close to them, including grandparents. The latter have a significant role with their grandchildren. Far from being just childcare solutions, they are also excellent guides for the youngest, providing valuable advice based on their experiences. However, when a child arrives in a family, despite the joy it brings, it can also cause some difficulties, including not knowing how to find their place. Here are some tips for our elders to maintain harmonious relationships with parents.

The importance of grandparents in children’s lives

As a 2019 study from the University of Oxford showed, children who had involved grandparents had fewer behavioral and emotional problems than those who did not. According to this study, children who have such a valuable bond with their elders are also less likely to be depressed as adults and will, statistically, have a better quality of life. Furthermore, grandparents are also much happier to have this relationship with the youngest.

Respect parents’ choices

Even if you don’t like these same choices and you wouldn’t have done things the way they did! At one time, you have surely been in the shoes of your children, who are now parents, and you have your own vision of education. However, it is essential to respect their choices, especially on thorny subjects, such as food, religion or even school. This means not giving unsolicited advice, or in any case, if you have to broach the subject, focus on kindness (and not judgment!). Also, don’t do the opposite of what the parents want, when their backs are turned.

Do not make preferences between your grandchildren

Still obvious, but you must also absolutely avoid making preferences between your grandchildren, whether within the same siblings or between those who make up your big family. This can create rivalries, even if you don’t necessarily do it on purpose. We must therefore try to give each child the same thing, or a similar amount for birthdays, for example. Likewise, try to check in and spend as much time with each of them as possible.

Don’t be intrusive

Of course, you want to spend time with your family, but you also need to let your children and their offspring breathe. In other words, avoid imposing yourself when they don’t explicitly invite you, and especially don’t come unexpectedly. On the other hand, respond when asked – if of course you are available or if you want to make yourself available. You are not at their disposal either, even so.

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